So, being that it's almost February, it must seem really
outdated that this rant is about my winter vacation. Well, school
started and you know how that goes. I figure a long overdue
contribution is in order before things get too crazy.
By the way, for those interested, Banshee Christina is
not only juggling an internship but a research job with a Professor.
What a smartie huh?
Can I get a gift receipt with that?
This Christmas, my sister Kat and I decided to be good
people and get gifts for our cousins that catered to their
personalities. Usually, all the guy cousins get the exact same
sweater, but in different colors. The girls get off a little easier
with jewelry or perfume. So this year we went all out, making lists
and categories. We got our fabulously stylish Diesel wearing male
cousin a cookbook. Not just any ordinary cookbook, but a William
Sonoma one. This one was filled with great pictures and tips on
how to give a great dinner party. You get the idea on the scale of
gifts we went for - under 35 bucks but still personable and from the
heart. So come annual Christmas Eve dinner at the aunt's house we
eagerly await our presents, hmm perhaps another great gift
certificate from A&F? The first blow, bebe bags and boxes. Not
that there's anything wrong with hyper trendy bebe, but not exactly
mine or Kat's style. We decide to wait to open our gifts at home,
and it's a good thing we did. Kat opened her first bebe box. I
swore I saw tears well up in her eyes. Inside was an orange tie-dyed
shirt with bebe emblazoned across the chest in rhinestones. Truly a
sight to behold. She leaves, I think to get some tissue to blot her
eyes. At this point, I'm truly scared. I peak into my box. I see
something tan. Good. I see something angora. Questionable. I rip
through the tissue and it's a bucket hat. I plop it on my head and
wait for Kat to return. She nearly falls over thinking thinking that
J.Lo has kidnapped her sister.
I know this makes me sound like an ungrateful swine.
But it just kind of stings that we went through the effort to
pick gifts we thought would match our cousin's personalities.
Now that I think of it, maybe that's what they did too. Sad to
think their image of me is wearing a bucket hat from bebe. So,
Kat and I went to bebe to return the tie-dyed shirt, the bucket
hat and another zip-up sweater that she didn't like. The total
store credit we got? 147 bucks. Crazy huh? The moral of this story?
Save all your receipts!
Wait? I share the same bloodlines with that guy?
This may seem cliché but don't we all have a family member
that's just not quite "together"? Well, my large family does. I have
second cousin who's name rhymes with Ellen. There's something about
him that simultaneously irritates and creeps me out. He habitually
confuses Kat and me though we look nothing alike. Talks with a lisp
and I can go on but I'm already going to sh*t talkers hell as it is.
I suppose he thought he'd be clever this Christmas and make homemade
flavored oil for all the aunts and uncles. Yeah, real clever, he used
the wrong bottles and merely taped the cork down with scotch tape.
Bad sign of things to come. One bottle, by accident spills on my
aunt's white carpet in her living room.
When we reach home, my father and I unload gifts and things from
the car. He asks me "Where's the glass bottle?" I respond "Huh?
What glass bottle?" He closes one car door, slamming into a stem of
orchids which I was holding. "Oh daddy, look at the flowers." At
this point he's really frustrated looking for the glass bottle. He
finally emerges from the back of the car with a car mat drenched
in that tasty flavored oil. He chucks the entire bottle and curses
"That guy is just looking for trouble." (In reference to my creepy
second cousin.) No wonder the car smelled like peppers on the way
home. Wow, I'm not the only one that finds the guy annoying, my dad
thinks so too. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
5-4-3-2-1... Happy New Year!
Rather than spend New Year's counting down with Carson Daly
and Dick Clark I embarked on a fun "planned" day with Banshee
Christina and friends. Okay, only one friend and my sister. I'm not
sure how comfortable this friend would be with mentioning his name
or identity. We don't want another "Scuba Andy" incident. We all made
the trek, 20 minutes by car to Disneyland. Man, what a bunch of
suckers huh? It was beyond crowded, so full of people we had to
park at the Anaheim Convention Center Parking lot across the street.
Never have I seen Disneyland so crowded. I think we went on a total
of three rides in the 10 hours we were there. Luckily, we got to
ride "The Jungle Cruise" which is my fave ride. We also paid eight
dollars and up for a bowl of clam chowder in a bread bowl. We also
got dessert which consisted of decorations from the Jack Skellington
themed Haunted House ride. Kat got this cheesecake with a Rice Krispy
spider on top. Precious huh? Except the rice spider was dyed in black
food coloring and turned any part of your skin or clothes the same
color. Good times.
The ultimate end all of the whole day occurred in the last
two hours we there. We decided to kill some time and ride "It's a
Small World" since they decorate it all different for Christmas.
Supposedly, there was to be something "special" going on in that
area of Fantasyland. Yeah... real special, we should have known
better when we heard MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This" coming from
that direction. To the right of "It's a Small World" was this stage
set up with a white "DJ" and Chip and Dale. They were all dancing,
trying to excite the crowd. I really hope they got paid overtime.
We waited 2 plus hours in line to ride that ride. All this time
they played horrible, horrible music. Ricky Martin "La Vida Loca,"
"We are Family" (Chip and Dale pointed at each other, aww cute,
let's not do it for every chorus please.) and other songs that
belong in their own decades. KIIS FM doesn't even play those songs
anymore. Oh, Disney, why oh why?
Just when we didn't think we could take anymore of a DJ
trying to "get down" we see this family of tourists ahead of us
in line. The family consisted of a mom, dad, 3 daughters and a
son. Now this son, was not a little boy, he had to be at least
11 or 12. He proceeded to pick his nose. Not merely a scratch
but full on digging. Okay, fine whatever he's picking his nose.
No, he then starts to suck on finger, licking and chewing
whatever he found in his nose. Gawd, I can't even type this,
it's too grotesque. This continues for a full on 10 minutes.
So after the ride, we decide to embark on finding a spot
for the countdown. Bad idea. The castle was filled with people.
Total pushing and shoving. I was shoved under a guy's armpit for a good 10 feet.
So we ended up counting down at the Carnation Dance Gazebo or whatever it's
really called. We watched a cute guy in a red shirt dance and then
hug his girlfriend. Then it was over. All that shoving and pushing
to countdown some numbers. I guess Carson Daly and Dick Clark don't
sound too bad next year.
Things that just will never be explained.
I can't end a "winter break" summary without mentioning
the strange finding of a sign across my street. Under a stop sign
I discovered a wood block with the words painted in
"It Don't Mean It." This sign which Kat thought was in blood
stayed under the stop sign for a good 3 weeks. It very
obviously paint. The words would also be inserted into
many conversations that just cracked me up.