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[ hotties - criminal record ]




        Christensen, Hayden



Name: Hayden Christensen
DOB: 04/19/81
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 160 lbs
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Location: Vancouver
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List of Priors: Tormented teen Scott on "Higher Ground", tormented teen Sam on "Life As A House"
Most Recent Offense: Tormented teen Anakin Skywalker in Episode II
Known Acquaintances: Rumored ties with co-stars A.J. Cook and Natalie Portman
Sentence: EW named him their "It Boy" in 2000. Overcoming George Lucas' bad directing and dialogue like "Being around her again is intoxicating" is the only thing standing between Hayden and superstardom.
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        Franco, James



Name: James Franco
DOB: 04/19/78
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Location: LA
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List of Priors: Brooding James Dean in the tv movie, bad boy Chris in "Whatever It Takes", talented artist
Most Recent Offense: Poor rich boy Harry in "Spider-Man"
Known Acquaintances: Marla Sokoloff - big boobs, hot boyfriend... we hate her
Sentence: Anyone who can invoke the memory of James Dean will not soon be forgotten...
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        Hartnett, Josh



Name: Josh Hartnett
DOB: 07/21/78
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 200
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Location: Minnesota
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List of Priors: Sex-abstaining cutie in "40 Days and 40 Nights", country-bumpkin boy next door in "Here on Earth" (perhaps the biggest crime of all), 1st Lt. chump in "Pearl Harbor"
Most Recent Offense: Coverboy for all the teen magazines
Known Acquaintances: His high school sweetheart?
Sentence: Without the right movie choices ( gawd, could you imagine "Here on Earth 2"?), Josh will remain a pin-up stud and Keanu Reeves School of Acting alumni.
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        Hernandez, Jay



Name: Jay Hernandez
DOB: 02/20/78
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Location: Montebello, CA (but we find that hard to believe)
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List of Priors: Hunky Antonio Lopez on "Hang Time" (TNBC show about basketball, if anyone other than me watched), sweet star student/athlete Carlos Nunez in "crazy/beautiful"
Most Recent Offense: Joaquin "Whack" Campos in "The Rookie", though we don't know if that should count because did anyone see that movie?
Known Acquaintances: Erika Christensen (it's not enough for the girl that she shares the same name as Hayden??)
Sentence: Lack of popular lead roles might turn him into a lifer, but there's always hope for parole!
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        Murray, Chad Michael



Name: Chad Michael Murray
DOB: 08/24/81
Height: 6'0"
Weight: ???
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blond
Location: New York, LA
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List of Priors: The hot jerk turned sweetie turned jerk turned sweetie turned military school cadet Tristan on "Gilmore Girls" Most Recent Offense: The newest incestuous addition to "Dawson's Creek" as Charlie, the deejay who's either illiterate or embarassingly near-sighted (the jury is still out with that one)
Known Acquaintances: Some pretty blonde we're sure...
Sentence: Once hot, now walks around with hair of the electrocuted style, but we're holding on to hope of a last minute reprieve...
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        Pitt, Brad



Name: Brad Pitt
DOB: 12/18/63
Height: 6'
Weight: 180
Eye Color: Blue-Green
Hair Color: Blond
Location: Oklahoma
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List of Priors: Long-haired stud brother in "Legends of the Fall", determined detective in "Se7en", epitome of cool in "Fight Club"
Most Recent Offense: The suave Rusty "Damn I can make any suit look good" Ryan in Ocean's 11 (how cute was it that his character was eating all the time?!)
Known Acquaintances: Married to actress Jennifer Aniston
Sentence: Truly talented actor who has tackled serious roles as well as comedic ones (can anyone forget Brad's guest appearance on "Friends"?) Wedding ring or not, Brad Pitt will forever be our "Golden Boy"... Weird beard is another story though...
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        Timberlake, Justin



Name: Justin Timberlake
DOB: 01/31/81
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 170 lbs.
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blond
Location: Tennessee
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List of Priors: Pre-pubescent bopper on the defunct "MMC", role of heart throb model Jason Sharp in"Model Behavior" (huge stretch, I bet), usually lead singer of #1 boy band NSYNC
Most Recent Offense: Wearing a beanie and looking oh so hot in the "Girlfriend" video
Known Acquaintances: We're repressing it in our memory
Sentence: It'll take a lot of work for this hottie to get rid of the "tainted goods" label acquired from galavanting around town with Britney SpearMe (whoops, memory recovered).
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        Welling, Tom



Name: Tom Welling
DOB: 04/26/77
Height: 6'3"
Weight: ???
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Brown
Location: Michigan
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List of Priors: Mid-life crisis cure on "Judging Amy", Abercrombie model (yum)
Most Recent Offense: SuperTeen/Clark Kent on "Smallville"
Known Acquaintances: His fiance(moment of silence)!!!
Sentence: The WB's next "It Boy," but with a positive outlook because he's got the good looks that certain Creek boys lack.
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