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[ hotties - criminal record ]

Bloom, Orlando Name: Orlando Bloom DOB: 01/13/77 Height: 5'11" Weight: probably not too much, he's got a nice sleek bod! Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown Location: Canterbury, England more pictures List of Priors: Crew-cut Private in "Black Hawk Down", Legolas (aka "the elf with Pantene hair") in "Lord of the Rings" Most Recent Offense: Those hot black and white Gap commercials Known Acquaintances: No one, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. Sentence: Avoid all roles that require the growth of facial hair and he's on his way to star in every girl's dreams

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Clooney, George Name: George Clooney DOB:05/06/51 Height: 5'11" Weight: 200 Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Salt and pepper Location: Kentucky more pictures List of Priors: Beyond-the-call-of-duty cop on "Sisters", passionate pediatric doc on "ER", khaki-clad Colonel in "The Peacemaker" Most Recent Offense: The tuxedo-ed leader of the modern Rat Pack in "Ocean's 11" Known Acquaintances: Self-proclaimed "Bachelor For Life" after divorce from Talia Balsam, dated Renee Zellweger and soft-core star Krista Allen Sentence: Scared us for a bit with his tv-movie transition "Dusk 'Til Dawn," but has only improved since then. George Clooney makes growing old look good.

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Law, Jude Name: Jude Law DOB: 12/29/72 Height: 5'11" Weight: 190 lbs Eye Color: Gray Hair Color: Brown Location: London more pictures List of Priors: Beautiful, perfect characters (huge stretch eh?) including an android gigolo in "A.I.", the enviable Dickie Greenleaf in "The Talented Mr. Ripley", and genetically flawless Jerome in "Gattaca" Most Recent Offense: Poor guy, he's so hot that they had to hit him with the ugly stick to play Harlen Maguire in Oscar buzz-worthy "Road to Perdition" Known Acquaintances: Married to actress Sadie Frost Sentence: The punishment is ours, as we're allowed to look but will never be able to have.

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...and we couldn't think of Jude without being reminded of good friend Ewan. Dang to be invited to one of their parties...

BANSHEE SPECIAL!

McGregor, Ewan Name: Ewan McGregor DOB: 03/31/71 Height: 5'11" Weight: 195 lbs Eye Color: Gray Hair Color: Dirty/Sandy Blond Location: Scotland more pictures List of Priors: The penniless writer with passion in "Moulin Rouge", crew-cut Specialist Danny Grimes in "Black Hawk Down", Rent-boy Mark in "Trainspotting" Most Recent Offense: The only decent actor in "Star Wars: Episode II" as the wise, yet mulleted Obi-Wan Kenobi Known Acquaintances: Married to Eve Mavrakis Sentence: Again, the sentence is ours to serve, looking at him makes our ovaries ache. I mean, he's hot, a gentleman, looks good punked out, can sing, and is a family man. *sigh*

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Mayer, John Name: John Clayton Mayer DOB: 10/16/77 Height: ??? Weight: ??? Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown Location: Atlanta, GA more pictures List of Priors: First-time offender Most Recent Offense: Crooning "Your Body is a Wonderland" and simultaneously seducing every post-pubescent female in America Known Acquaintances:Exes (Thanks gawd!) with Neutrogena girl Jennifer "Let's Go Bang" Love Hewitt Sentence: Even though John no longer associates with the aforementioned bad company, he's still branded "tainted goods" for a probation period....

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Speedman, Scott Name: Robert Scott Speedman DOB: 09/01/75 Height: 6'0" Weight: 160 lbs. Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Sandy Brown Location: England/Canada/LA more pictures List of Priors: Singing karaoke in "Duets" Most Recent Offense: The complicated cutie Ben Covington on "Felicity" Known Acquaintances: Spotted buying socks with Keri Russell in Westwood Sentence: Without another Ben Covington role, he's doomed to fall into Jared Leto obscurity

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Vartan, Michael Name: Michael Vartan DOB: 11/27/68 Height: 6' Weight: 180 lbs Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blondish Brown Location: France, Canada, LA more pictures List of Priors: The cool, hunky English teacher from "Never Been Kissed", seemingly innocent yet diabolical roommate in "The Curve" Most Recent Offense: Sexy CIA agent Michael Vaughn on "Alias" Known Hangouts: The Standard on Sunset as reported by Ted Casablanca Sentence: As long as he keeps those short pants from "The Curve" in the closet, Michael Vartan will continue to turn women into putty with his arched eyebrow. And hopefully the writers on "Alias" will give him more to do than wrinkle his forehead and wear a perplexed look on his face.

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Ventimiglia, Milo Name: Milo Ventimiglia DOB: 07/08/77 Height: ??? Weight: ??? Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown/Black Location: Orange, CA more pictures List of Priors: The sweet boyfriend in the iMac commercials and JV soccer player in "She's All That" (don't blink!) Most Recent Offense: Smart rebel Jesse on "Gilmore Girls" Known Acquaintances: Single again, but only because he hasn't met us yet! Sentence: His great line deliveries makes us forget he's "Beverly Hills 90210"-aged.

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West, Shane Name: Shannon Bruce West DOB: 06/10/78 Height: ??? Weight: ??? Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Brown Location: Louisiana more pictures List of Priors: Nice boy Ryan in "Whatever It Takes", rebel-turned impossibly sweet boyfriend in "A Walk to Remember", troubled teen Eli on "Once and Again" (but only made appearances every now and then) Most Recent Offense: Lead singer of punk band Johnny Was Known Acquaintances: Playboy Playmate Summer Altice, "adult film star" Dina Meyers, Rachael Lee Cook, Monica Keena Sentence: Probation for not keeping those musician hands off porn queens.

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