Banshee Logo


[ rants - american idol ]



I don't know if it's because I'm tired of the slew of reruns during the summer or what, but every year I find one show that I am absolutely addicted to without any basis for it at all. Last summer it was "The Will Kirby Show", whoops, I mean "Big Brother 2". You could not tear me away from that hottie evil doctor. This summer's guilty pleasure is "American Idol", genre: "Star Search" meets "Survivor."

"American Idol" is a show in search of the next new singing sensation. Originally, auditions were held in major cities around the country. They showed bad auditions (like the girl who sang Alicia Keys' "Fallin'" without wanting to get any of the notes right) while the good singers were whisked off to California - "Congratulations, you're going to Hollywood."

The show is hosted by Ryan Seacrest (DJ for Star 98.7) and Brian Dunkleman (I don't know where this guy came from.. but please please take him back!), a couple goofballs who don't read jokes off a Teleprompter very well, although to give them credit, these jokes aren't very good to begin with. Don't believe me? Here are a few examples (these "jokes" seriously push the "Family Entertainment" category...):

Seacrest didn't know the seventies were so much fun, "I was too busy playing with my little friend -- G.I. Joe." *cringe*
Dunkleman wants to skip the commercial break. "Itís live TV. What can they do?" "They can fire us!" "Okay we'll be right back!" *double cringe*


 
The esteemed judges and the stupid product placement for Coca-Cola.


Every week, each hopeful is brought on stage to cover a popular song of their choice in front of a studio audience and the three judges. The three judges are:
  1. Randy Jackson-no-relation-to-the-plastic-freak. Randy has the annoying habits of repeating each contestant's name 3 times (i.e. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly...well you get the point), name-dropping that he has worked with Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston (although honestly, who had heard of this guy before?) and always commenting on how he loves R.J. Helton's name because he has the same initials R and J.
  2. Paula "I can't dare criticize for fear that someone will bring up my musical past which includes duets with animated cats and a video with a pretty boy actor who is anything BUT animated in his acting" Abdul. Paula has the annoying habits of talking through her teeth, always coddling the precious contestants' egos and coming up with weird comeback lines to Simon (such as "The only high Simon will get is if he smokes his shirt." Huh?)
  3. Simon "I need to one-up the last British import and be more insulting than Anne Robinson because her show only lasted two seasons" Cowell. Simon has the annoying habit of always wearing a tight shirt. Other than that, I think he's a pretty funny bloke who may be too honest for the American people.
So each week, Randy and Paula play "good cop" to Simon's "bad cop."

The three judges offer their assessment of the talent after the performances, but the choice of the next "American Idol" ultimately falls in the hands of the viewers at home who call in for their favorite (this may sound familiar to those of you who tune in each week and have to listen to Brian and Ryan explain it 5 times a show).

No one likes criticism, but being in the entertainment industry, the music industry at that, you have to expect it and learn to take it gracefully.

Everyone is so quick to say "Oh Simon is a mean, mean man for saying that sounded horrendous," but if it really did sound horrendous, what's so bad about Simon saying it aloud when we're all thinking it in our heads? Simon is one of those people who would tell you that you had spinach in your teeth or toilet paper on your shoe. "Good for you" (to borrow Paula's favorite phrase). I think I'd rather be told that, be embarassed for the five minutes after that and then forget about it than be walking around for hours with toilet paper trailing after me, or smiling at each person who passes by and flashing them a little green.

Grass is green. If someone tells you that the grass is purple... if 3 people (ahem the judges) tell you that the grass is purple, it doesn't matter, the grass is still green. Translation for you non-banshee type... If a singer sucks, they suck regardless of whether they are told they suck or not. So all those singers shouldn't be blaming Simon for pointing out wrong notes, or bad stage presence, they should be thinking about why he had wrong notes and bad stage presence to criticize...

So where am I going with all this? I've gotten so far off topic by now that I don't even know the answer to that. So I'll just say "you'll find out after the break."

P.S. I'm rooting for Kelly Clarkson.

written by christina


Back to Rants

Couch Potato Monkeys